I have a beautiful, amazing friend, who for the purpose of this blog, I am going to name Grace. I chose this "fake name" on purpose. My friend "Grace" is full of grace. She is the kindest, most caring, selfless person I have ever met. She gives grace and love to everyone around her. She is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known.
Grace has a lot of health problems herself. She struggles with chronic pain and chronic conditions every day. Yet, her and her husband wanted to have a child. They struggled with becoming pregnant. There were a lot of things that pointed to her not being able to have children. But God gave her the gift of a little life inside her. But, then they found out there were a lot of complications. The baby was growing strong, but due to some mechanics of the pregnancy, she was super high risk. Grace would have to go on bedrest at about 30 weeks. Emergency C-Section at 35 or 36 weeks. This condition was very, very rare, and all the medical journals said that it never changes.
The medical journals did not realize that we have God on our side.
God gave Grace, her husband and her little miracle man another miracle. The situation changed. It was not supposed to change. Everyone said it wouldn't. In this rare, rare sitation, the change is even more rare. God's mercies and grace poured over Grace and her beautiful family.
I have another friend who I will call Hope. She had a surgery to correct her back pain about 3 years ago. Unfortuantely, her fusion cause her spine to be fused in an awkward position, that now has left her in more pain and she has had to go on permanent disability. Hope struggles to complete daily tasks like showering and putting on makeup. She has what she calls a "three-day week." If she schedules more than about 3 activities in a week, she is unable to function for days at a time due to pain flare-ups. She is currently writing a book about being in pain all the time. This week, she posted, saying, "Writing about being in pain and transitioning from able-bodied to disabled is making me sad." Hope often feels like there is little hope in her life for a miracle.
So why does Grace get a MIRACLE, and Hope is still waiting for hers?
Here is the answer: I do not know.
I don't know why Hope and I are still not healed. I do not know why Grace recieved grace from God for her and her beautiful boy. But, I think that everyone of us can cry for joy at the miracle that Grace has recieved.
I often feel some of the same discouragement I know Hope feels. My mom often tells me that she has faith that I will one day be healed. I have said often, that is it easier for me to accept the fact that I am injured and in pain, and learn to live life as my new normal of being in pain often. My mom still has hope for me. On many occasions, both Hope and Grace have expressed their hope for my life. And I have hope for Hope. And I had hope for Grace when she felt very hopeless before she recieved her news of change this week.
It is so easy to hope for others, yet so hard to hope for ourselves. We see ourselves in a very small box of what life is. We are confined by the chains of our situations, and unable to see past them. Yet others often see past our limited view and express their hope for us when we cannot.
C.S. Lewis said, "Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." There are ways that God works around us all day every day. Some of them are big ways that are easy for us to see, like Grace's miracle. Some of them are too big for us to see, that we may take for granted every day. Sometimes though, we wait for a miracle of healing, of freedom, and change; and we wait... and wait... and one doesn't come. A child gets cancer. A woman loses a child to miscarriage. An innocent man is locked up in prison for a crime he did not commit.
Adam Hamilton writes about miracles in his book Why? Making Sense of God's Will. He writes that,of course, God can do miracles. But miracles are miracles because they are rare. They don't happen every day. God works through us every day, but miracles don't come all the time. Hamilton writes, "God's primary way of working in our world is to influence us and others - giving us peace and strength, wisdome and patience - while using the natural means God created to accomplish God's purposes."
I told Hope this week, "You may not be able-bodied in every way that you used to be, but you are so much more able-spirited because of what you have gone through. Your life and testimony are an inspiration to so many people. It probably isn't the testimony you wish you could share, but you have encouraged me so much, and I hope you are able to see that purpose of your pain. It is not easy to live the calling to which you have been called, but you are amazing for answering that call every day with your encouragement and life story that you share with everyone." The way God works in her life right now is that God sustains her., and gives her life a purpose. That she is able to encourage and share her story to everyone around her. They see that she is a woman full of grace and love, and are encouraged through her struggles that God will provide for them too. Just like the song says,
Morning by morning new mercies I see! All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
When Grace told me of her miracle today, I wept tears of incredible joy. I wanted to shout and scream at the hope that is placed in my life. I wanted to share that hope and joy with everyone around me, and it wasn't even "my miracle." Grace still has a long road ahead of her that is scary and might be full of other parts that she can't see past.
Yet, I pray that in our times of darkness, of captivity, of being unable to see past the situations we find ourselves in, we are able to look at our circumstances and see the miracles written all over the pages of our lives and the lives around us. And through those miracles, see the hope that surrounds all of us during those times. There will be sorrow. There will be tears of sadness. We may never get our big miracle that we were hoping for... and I still don't know why. But I know that in our weakness, God uses his strength to work in our lives. He will not abondon us, and will use others to help foster the hope in our lives.
With "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow", I pray hope and grace and peace for you.
