...have your way

We are sitting on another eve of yet another doctor's appointment. The appointment tomorrow will go over all the nasty tests that I have had the last few week. Tomorrow, life could drastically change with a solution to my pain. Or it could remain the same. Once again, I am praying for peace and patience with the appointment tomorrow. The last few days have been awful and I've barely been able to walk. I feel like I shouldn't hope, but yet once again, I am hoping, praying and pleading for a solution. I know that MY will is to be healed, NOW. I know that God's will is for me to be healed... but on His timing. I don't know why I haven't been healed yet, but I am trying to trust God's plan.

There has been so much music that has spoken to me through these times. These are a few truths, through music, that have gotten me through the last 16 months.

Brit Nicole, Have Your Way

And I'll stop searching for the answers

I'll stop praying for an escape

But I'll trust you, God, with where I am

And believe that you will have your way

Just have your way.

Jars of Clay, Valley Song

Though the pain is an ocean

Tossing us around, around, around

You have calmed, greater waters

Higher mountains have come down

I will sing of your mercies

That lead me through valleys of sorrow

To rivers of joy.

Audrey Assad, Show Me

Bind up these broken bones

Mercy bend a bring me back to life

But not before you show me how to die

... God, for now, just stay with me.

Casting Crowns, Praise You in this Storm

But once again I say "Amen," and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls,

I barely hear you whisper through the rain

"I am with you."

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

and takes away.

All these songs have the same idea. God is bigger than our pain. It may not be healed right now. But God is with me. He will lead me with His mercies through this valley. I will learn more how to trust God through this grief, and he will stay with me. So, as I wait for another night to find out what is going to happen tomorrow, I try and rest in the Lord through these words of truth of others. And once again, I try to remember that I'll trust you God, with where I am and believe that you will have your way. Just have your way.

"Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." - Hebrews 10:36