Martha Lillie

I am a type A+ personality. I do not do well sitting still. My husband always tells me, "you have a unique ability to fill up every spare moment of your time with something." Since my injury, I have had to slow way down. But, I try not to. I push myself like crazy. I wasn't allowed to come back to work when I wanted to after my first surgery, I think partly because, wisely, my principal knew I would push myself like I always do, and then hurt myself again. (Well, that happened anyway without the restrictions they tried to put on me!) I now am helping run a free piano lesson program at my school, teaching choir for 60+ kids once a week on top of my full time job (a job i jump and boogie down in on my feet all dsy every day) and just recently, started working in our after school program till 6:00 two nights a week now too.

I told my hubby that I was going to be at school till 6 two night a week now. Oh boy, was I in trouble!

I know my limits well. And I ignore them and push through them till I medicate to get through. Bad Mrs. Lillie. I have a friend who was recently "grounded" by her PT for doing too much. I probably need to be grounded too. And, not lying, I probably won't slow down until someone really grounds me.

Last year I posted about how this school year I couldn't do as much, but instead, I was going to do love and grace. I feel like I am full of lots and love and grace... But I still do do do and don't rest well. And I am awful at saying no,especially when I want to be doing something. And it makes me MAD to not be doing everything. I was so mad when my hubby said "Your health is not good, you can barely keep up with your job and your body right now, why are you doing all this?" So mad. And then so depressed.

Recently, I met with a girl with a lot of medical problems, who was telling me that she used to be such a servant until all her invisible diseases knocked her down. I told her about reading from the Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World recently. I told her that sometimes you need to let others serve you. There is a time to be a servant and a time for us to sit down at Christ's feet,slowing down, and basking in the love of God. We don't always need to be doers. (Preachin' to yourself Mrs. Lillie?)

I am Martha. My season of trying to be Mary, and not Martha has lasted way longer than I hoped.  I am so very Martha.



As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 NLT)


I can hear myself saying these words. "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that a young person, with so much drive and desire, and want to do all this work, but you want me to just sit here? While others do all the work?"
"My dear Sarah. You are worried and upset over all this. But there is only one thing you should be concerned about. come, Sarah, sit at my feet. Worship me. Love me. Spend time with me. This will not be taken away from you."

So. This is the time to slow down. I am still learning how to have Mary characteristics. But this is my season right now. I can't keep pushing through my limits. I need to rest in The Lord and spend time at His feet. I know tomorrow I will try to be Martha again, because a blog post isn't going to change me right away.  But I am thankful for my God who continues to say in my Marthaness, "there is only one thing to be concerned about, Sarah. Come here my child, and rest in me."


For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLT)