Very patient endurance

This week was full of a couple interesting doctor appointments. On Monday we went to a doctor in Boulder, where I had an EMG to determine what nerve damage might be there. Well, there was nerve damage. Yes, I was surprised! The never was not severely damaged, but moderately. So on Wednesday I drove to Denver to see a specialist in spinal cord stimulation. He said I was a "very good candidate" for spinal cord stimulation. After some consideration, talking with my surgeon back in Kansas City, some praying... We are pursuing this option.

There is lots that will happen before the surgery would actually happen. I will have to undergo a psych evaluation I guess. We will do a trial of the stimulator where all the wires are outside me. If it works, I will then schedule a surgery. Which will be invasive. Probably at the same level if not more than my last surgeries. I am hoping to do this mid-December... If everything works out.

I am pretty conflicted about this. Very hopeful that this may fix my pain. But for crying out loud... More surgery?!?! We were supposed to go to Orlando at the beginning of January. I didn't want to take more time off work. I wish it were all easier.

I have gone back and started reading "Patient Endurance" again (Hebrews 10:36) As we keep going down this road, I am continually repeating this verse over and over again. I am hoping God continues to help me with patient endurance through yet another journey toward surgery. This hymn has been in my head today:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest fame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand

i am so thankful that God is unchanging, unwavering, and steadfast in His love. I am thankful that my hope rests on Jesus.

 There is still a lot of feelings and sadness to still go through. I am sure there are many more tears to cry before it is over. And I am still not optimistic about results actually allowing me to get off medicine and reclaim the life of a healthy 27 year old.

Patient endurance.... Patience endurance... Patient endurance...

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong in the Savior's love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all
Hillsong - Cornerstone (includes the words of Solid Rock)