The prayers of the people

Things with my health are not good. The numbness I had experienced from a few weeks ago has now spread through most of my body. We are seeing a neurologist and they are working on performing tests (including a spinal tap) to try and diagnose what is going on. Some very scary suggestions have been given to what is going on. We are in a waiting game to get this all figured out, and frankly, it is terrifying.

In this process, I have had many people comment on how good my attitude is through all this. I do also feel a very deep sense of peace at many points of my day. I am not saying that I am perfect... I have had many times too of complete break down and many tears have been shed. But overall, I have had an okay attitude overall.

I am CONFIDENT this is not of my own doing.

I think back to the story of Esther. Esther had become queen in Persia and had received some terrifying news. News that the King was planning to kill all of her people. Her uncle told her what was happening and begged her to go to the King to stop the murder of all the Jews.

Mordecai: ¹³ Tell Esther, “Don’t be fooled. Just because you are living inside the king’s palace doesn’t mean that you out of all of the Jews will escape the carnage. You must go before your king. ¹⁴ If you stay silent during this time, deliverance for the Jews will come from somewhere, but you, my child, and all of your father’s family will die. And who knows? Perhaps you have been made queen for such a time as this.” -Esther 4:13-14

Esther was very scared to go to the King. If to we're not invited to go see the King, and you decided that you would like to speak to him, and you just showed up, you could be killed! It wasn't allowed. Only if the King found favor with you, and extended his golden scepter to you, would you life be spared. Esther knew this, and knew that one of the King's previous Queens had been killed for something arbitrary (which was what led to her becoming queen). She was terrified to try and go see the queen to convince him to not kill her and her people. But the words from Uncle, "Perhaps you have been made queen for such a time as this," encouraged her that this was what God's will was for her. So she sent these words to her uncle:

Esther: Tell Mordecai, ¹⁶ “In preparation for my audience with the king, do this: gather together all the Jews in Susa, and fast and pray for me. Intercede for me. For three days and nights, abstain from all food and drink. My maids and I will join you in this time. And after the three days, I will go in to the king and plead my people’s case, even though it means breaking the law. And if I die, then I die!”

¹⁷ Mordecai left the king’s gate and put all of Esther’s instructions into action.

The entire community of Jews surrounded Esther in prayer. They fasted for this task she was going to complete. The whole of Esther's people covered her in prayers. Prayers for strength. Prayers for courage. Prayers for the King to show His mercy. They came together and uplifted her to the greatest King.

Over the last few weeks, Bryson and I have also been lifted up and covered in the prayers of "our people." I know many people, near and far, have been praying for peace, for strength, for healing, for endurance, for insurance to quickly approve tests, for doctors to have wisdom to figure out what is going on... For many other things that I am sure I do not know about. I am positive that these prayers are what is getting me through with my "great attitude" that everyone is seeing in me. I am sure that these prayers are what are getting me out of bed every morning and not just pulling the covers up over my head and giving up.

God has not answered the prayers for complete healing yet. If some of the things that are being proposed are true, there probably won't be a complete healing that happens. Maybe there will be if it is some of the "lesser" things they think it might be (which are still pretty scary but possibly curable). But God is sustaining me like crazy right now. he is giving me a peace that passes all my understanding. He is giving me strength to make it through my days at work.

After Esther spent three days in prayer with her people, she went to the King's inner court.

5 When the third day arrived, Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace across from the king’s rooms. The king was sitting on his throne facing the palace entrance. ² He was pleased when he noticed Queen Esther waiting in the court. He extended his gold scepter with his hand, inviting her in. Esther walked toward him, and when she was close enough, she reached out and touched the king’s scepter.

The prayers of Esther and her people spared her life with the king. The story continues that Esther finally does ask the king to spare her people, and he grants her request (as well as executing the man who was responsible for the plot to kill the Jews). Today, there is a festival, Purim, that is celebrated through gifts of food and drink, charity to the poor, and a celebratory meal, to commemorate the way God provided for the Jews and the way God worked through Esther, who was made queen "for such a time as this".

I don't know why I have taken ill as I have. I know that maybe it will someday be made apparent, that I went through all of this medical trial for "such a time as this." Perhaps it is for people to see the way God's prayers have worked through me to show a "great attitude" while I am also scared out of my mind. Perhaps it is for some other reason that I have no idea of yet. However, I am so thankful for the prayers of my people. The prayers that are keeping me going. The prayers that are sustaining me. The prayers that are reminding me of God's faithfulness and sovereignty during this time.

Thank you for your prayers... And keep them coming.

In your everlasting arms

All the pieces of my life

From beginning to the end

I can trust you

In your never failing love

You work everything for good

God whatever comes my way

I will trust you