Another one bites the dust

Yesterday was the last day of the school year. This finishes the 6th year of my teaching career. And I love almost every minute of it (I can say that now that it is over.)

Yet, this was probably the hardest year for me for many reasons. There was a lot of anxiety throughout our staff over test scores and changes and frustrations about what the kids couldn't do. And personally, I had so much anxiety over my health. 2 days before I was to report was when my full blown episode occurred. And we had no idea what it was. And I spent from August to March trying to do the very best I could at work, while undergoing tests for possible brain tumors. For neck tumors. For West Nile. For Lupus. For disc problems. And for Multiple Sclerosis. I spent a few weeks without peripheral vision.i spent part of the year not knowing where my feet were due to the sensory disturbance. I spent the whole year without feeling in my hands and arms, fatigued beyond a point I never imagined I could be, often using all my energy to just stay upright, and struggling to keep it together emotionally.

And yet.

The year was full of more blessings and lessons than I could ever have imagined possible.

We made our family a little bigger ... And Miss H has been one of the best things to happen for my emotional health in awhile.

My staff rallied around me.

My students reminded me to keep smiling.

I had people from Heatherwood, Sunny Pointe, and even people I didn't know sending me love and words of encouragement.

I have learned lessons about showing love and care to others. I have learned that a silent hug can mean more than volumes of words. I have learned that family and friends can be the ones to hold you up when you cannot hold yourself anymore. I have learned that a student telling you, "You are beautiful today!" can make you forget that you feel like you have been run over by a truck. I have learned that students who have so little at home can make you feel like a queen when they give you their favorite stuffed animal or the Hershey's kiss from their lunchbox. I have learned that while this disease can take a lot from me, there are many things it cannot.

I do not know if I will have 1 year or 10 years to keep being a teacher. And in a lot of ways I am still trying to break free of the cage of sorrow and despair of redefining who I am and how I live. But I am thankful for everyone I have met along the way and for everything I have learned. And I am thankful for the hope these experiences this year has given me.

 Now, on to a summer of rest and relaxation.