Thick enhancement of the epidural space bilaterally around both transitioning S1 nerve roots.
Disc protrusion with annular tear.
These were words I didn't really want to read on another MRI report of mine this week. One surgeon is suggesting more surgery. We have a few other opinions to seek. There really are no words to express how disheartened, how sad, how frustrated this makes me. A friend asked me tonight, "Are you at peace with the news yet?" No. Not even a little bit.
Talking with another chronic pain sufferer this week, she said we have to rely on what we know about God. So, while my heart is really no where near "I'll praise you in this storm," I do know this:
"Remember who created you, O Jacob? Who shaped you, P Israel? See, you have nothing to gear. I, who made you, will take you back. I have chosen you, named you as My own. When you face stormy seas I will be there with you with endurance and calm; you will not be engulfed in raging rivers. If it seems like you're walking through fire with flames licking at your limbs, keep going; you won't be burned. Because I, the Eternal One, am your God. I am the Holy One of Israel, and I will save you... So don't be afraid. I am here." Is. 43:1-3; 5
and:
There is no power in heaven or hell that can keep me from the love of the Father on His throne (He's Alive by Laura Hackett at 4' 45")
That is all that I can rely on right now, in all honesty. I have no other perspective to look at this from than those two things, as my heart is breaking right now. So let us rely on what we know. And those two things I do know.
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